


Honey Badger Don't Care

by zetsubonna



Series: On Va Voir [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 19:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2122677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zetsubonna/pseuds/zetsubonna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous said:<br/>Fic prompt if you're still taking them: Steve Roger's daemon is a honey badger.</p><p>Okay, that’s too hilarious not to write.<br/>Not that I turn down a lot of prompts- I don’t get enough to turn any of them down- but that’s just- I like you, you fucking weirdo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honey Badger Don't Care

"What  _are_  you?” Steve asked Blanche as she settled herself in his lap.

"I don’t know," she sighed. "I’m too big to be a weasel, and I’m obviously not imaginary."

"Some kind of exotic, I guess," he said, scratching her head. "You’ve been like this for three days."

"I think this is it," she said, butting his hand and wiggling her backside. "I’m all muscle, though, that’s kind of nice."

"I guess," he said, shrugging.

***

"Looks a bit like a wolverine," Monty said. "I couldn’t say. I’m not much for nature, you know."

"Never seen anything like it," Jones translated for Dernier. "What the Hell  _are_  you, Blanche?”

"If I knew, I’d tell you," she grumbled, eyeballing Dorothy, Bucky’s Irish Wolfhound. "Dot, don’t knock the packs over or I’m telling you-"

"Mind your own, Bee," Dorothy grunted back. "Sarge swears he’s out of cigarettes, but I’m about thirty percent sure I smell one."

"Just don’t spill everything everywhere," Steve cautioned.

"Mind your own, Steve," Bucky said, carding his fingers through Dorothy’s fur. "Keep looking, girl. I’m gettin’ the shakes, I want one so bad."

***

"Welcome back, Captain. Blanche."

"Christ," Blanche shoved herself as close to Steve’s leg as she could get. "I hate this. I hate it."

"Shh," Steve said, bending down and scooping her up. "It’s okay. We’re okay."

"Nothin’s okay," Blanche said, burying her face in Steve’s shirt. "Not a bit of it."

Steve smiled humorlessly at Agent Coulson. “What?”

"It’s just- I didn’t think- I mean, none of the pictures were very distinct, that’s all," he said, glancing at the messenger pigeon on his own arm and self-consciously stroking her beak. "She’s not what I expected at all."

"Well, get in line," Blanche huffed. "We don’t even know what I am."

"Oh?" Coulson blinked at her, and his daemon, who had not introduced herself, pretended that she had not started in surprise. "Well, um. We can clear that up."

***

Before the YouTube video was even over, Steve and Blanche were laughing at each other so hard they were crying.

"You know who wouldn’t have been surprised?" Steve said.

"Buck and Dot," Blanche finished. "Oh, Christ. They’d have played this at top volume every time the brass went off on us."

"Every time," Steve agreed, wiping his eyes. "That’s what they get, they’d have said."

"Absolutely," Blanche agreed. "We’re just what we say on the tin, ain’t we, Cap?"

Steve shook his head, smiling sadly. “Just like it.”


End file.
